Alice in wonderlandA twisted tale
by bethchurch00
Summary: Hi, I'm Alice Wonder. And this is my story.    I know that I'm named Alice, and my last name is Wonder, but that doesn't mean this story is anything like 'Alice in Wonderland', in fact, it is probably more of a...twist.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey people! This is my second fanfic! **

**'Alice in wonderland'** By bethchurch00

Hi, I'm Alice Wonder. And this is my story.

I know that I'm named Alice, and my last name is Wonder, but that doesn't mean this story is anything like 'Alice in Wonderland', in fact, it only has a few similarities. Right now I am sitting in the principles office, with mum. This is our conversation.

Principle: Hello Alice!

Alice: (slight wave of the hand)

Principle: Well…

Alice: Oh, um…I came to see you…because I need my…lunch!

Principle: Lunch? Oh…lunch! Yeah, here have some of my sushi! It tuna!

Alice: Thanks mum

-Okay, I'm just going to stop here, I don't know if you realized, but when I said that I was in the principle's office with my mum, that was because the principle IS my mum. I know, weird or what! Anyway, carrying on with the conversation-

Principle: (sniffing) Did you take a shower today!

Alice: Yes! And do you think you could say that any louder!

Principle: I can try! DI-

Alice: MUM! MUM! Look, a spiders on your desk!

Principle: WHERE! (by the way, the principle is afraid of spiders, which is hilarious, considering the school is called 'Webs senior school'!)

Alice: It's right there mum…under your desk!

Principle: (ducks under desk to try and kill the spider, well the spider she _thinks _is there) Ahhh!

And then our conversation ended, mostly because I snuck out of the room.

The next thing I knew, I was running at full speed to my locker. My next period was math's and we were studying addition, the worst torture in the WORLD! I was late for class and when I arrived. I think I could _feel _Mrs. Spike's eyes drilling into me. Mrs. Spike was like the queen of hearts, always screaming, "Your late! Your late! Off with your heads" (minus the cutting heads part). I swear, she is the most evil person you have ever met! I mean _seriously_.

QOH: Your late! Your late! Sit down! You heard what I said!

Alice: Yes, Mrs. Dyke (okay, her name isn't Spike)

QOH: Well, since we had a late interruption, lets get on with it. So class, what would happen if we shared 3 and a half cupcakes between 7 people? How many would each person have?

Alice: _None, they all would have been eaten_

QOH: Well!

Tweedle dumb: 21

QOH: No Tracey, that's 3 TIMES seven!

Tweedle dumb: Oh.

Tweedle dumber: It depends…

Everyone looked towards tweedle dumber (Courtney), as she is normally the LAST person to speak up.

QOH: Yes, Courtney?

Tweedle dumber: You see, if it was me, and my friends, there would be none shared between them, because cupcakes are normally very high in sugar, unless it wasn't Like if it was filled with carrots and fruit-not raisins of course-

QOH: Yes, well, as much as we like to hear all about the history of cupcakes-we are in math's, not food.

By now the Queen of hearts was looker desperate. She asked everyone one more time, but I think she knew she wasn't going to get an answer, as most people were asleep, and the people who weren't were falling asleep. Except me.

QOH: What about you, Alice?

Alice: Me? Oh well, that would mean every person would get half a cupcake

QOH: YES, that is correct, you really should have said that before, you silly girl!

You see! I told you she was evil! She didn't even say a simple, 'Well done'. Right about now everybody looked up at me, like I was the smartest person in the world, yet the question that had been asked I had learn about three years ago, in year four!

We then started on some simple worksheets, which was fun, considering that I was finished in about five minutes.

QOH: Done already? Are you sure you checked your work?

Sometimes I wonder if she could just accept that I am a person like her, not some stupid, little, troublemaker. Because I'm not…most of the time anyway.

P.E went by in a blur (In a blur because sweat was running down my face and I couldn't see anything) and at the end of the lesson Mr. Johnson called me over.

Mr. J: Hey, Alice, you should really join the netball team, you're getting quite good.

Alice: Thanks Johnson, and you know, you can call me sis if you want! It's not like I'm not your sister anymore just because you're a teacher!(yeah I know! TWO family members in my family work at school!)

Mr. J: Hey! I'm just getting in the hang of things! Be kind!

Alice: Okay! Mr. Johnson! Bye!

Mr. J. Bye…sis!

And then the bell rang for first break.


	2. Chapter 2: ORANGE SOCKS

Chapter 2:

First break was 20 minutes. ONLY 20 MINUTES! I mean, we come to school, we sit through two hours of the slow, boring words that come out of teachers mouths, that just seem to keep going on and on! And what do we get, 20 lousy minutes! Gosh, when I'm older, I 'm going to complain to the government about it, but ANYWAY. I sat down to have my food when, the 'rabbit' came by. No, not a real rabbit, but a small queer, rabbit looking boy. The reason why we called him, 'rabbit', was because his nosed twitched like every three seconds. Not to mention the fact that all he ate was carrots, and always was telling himself 'I'm late, I'm late, For a very important date' (I know, weird of WHAT!) And most of all, he was about three feet smaller than me AND he was always disappearing whenever you saw him! Now, I know you might think that calling him, 'Rabbit' is bullying, but I only do it in my head, because I'm worried that when I'm older he could sue me. But ANYWAY. Rabbit came over and said,

Rabbit: Hey, Alice.

Alice: Hi

Rabbit: Do you have any…

Alice: What?

Rabbit: Any…

Alice: Yes!

Rabbit: Any..

Alice: Is that all you can say Rab-Ronald?

Rabbit: No! I can say many more things lik-

Alice: JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!

Rabbit: Any…C…arrots?

(After all that trouble, all he wants are some stupid orange vegetables! God!)  
>Alice: Yes, I do!<p>

Rabbit: CAAAARROOOOOTTTTTTSSSSS! Thanks!

Alice: Now can you…go!

Rabbit: Yep! Bye!

And then he wandered off into the bushes. Wait, let me rephrase that. And then HE WANDERED OFF INTO THE _BUSHES! _I swear, he must have been brought up in a rabbit den! I mean…SERIOSLY! Anyways…I decided to go and see why Rabbit had 'disappeared' into the bushes, so I walked over to where I had last seen him. I had expected to find him sitting in the middle of the gorge bush or something, but instead when I walked in the first thing I did was…trip; over a huge pile of ugly orange vegetables, in other words, Rabbit's collection of carrots. First of all, WHO IN THE WORLD COLLECTS CARROTS? Second of all, Why does he hide them in a middle of a BUSH and third, why did have to put it in this bush, where Alice Wonder could easily trip over it and get orange carrot stains all over her white socks? Okay, that last one wasn't ENTIRLEY his fault, but SERIOUSLY! Anyway! While I had my fall, I saw Rabbits small, pink nose pop out from behind a bush.

Alice: AHHHHHHHHH!

Rabbit: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Alice: WHY ARE YOU HERE!

Rabbits: Shouldn't I be asking YOU?  
>Alice: Now, you listen here, buddy, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, ever stash your carrots here again!<p>

Rabbit: -(lost for words)

And that is when I walked off. To the bathroom. To clean my orange socks.

And now, you have met the Rabbit, the annoying, carrot-crazy Rabbit. Who you will find later on becomes VERY important.

After first break it was English, the only subject that actually had a sane teacher in it. THE ABSOLUTE ONLY! Anyway, when I got to my English classroom, I decided to sit at the very back, because last time I had sat at the very front Brian HANG-MY-HEAD had kept prodding me is the back with a VERY, SHARP PENCIL! I mean, who DOES that? ANYWAYS, I sat at the very back and took my place next to some girls with black lipstick, and white faces.

EMO: That space is…TAKEN

Alice: For who?

EMO: My squirrel now get off!

Alice: I don't see a…squirrel!

EMO: Well, your gonna run like a squirrel if you don't GET OFF!

Alice: Fine

EMO: (I find another chair) that ones taken too!

Alice: For who?

EMO: My dog!

Alice: Well! I do not see a bunny, squirrel, dog, or ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL ON IT, so I have decided to…SIT HERE!

EMO: FINE. Hmf.

And then Miss Turner arrived…_with someone else. _


End file.
